Finding Yourself?

Life isn't about finding yourself, your bound to come to a dead end and regret all those years of 'searching'. Life is about creating yourself and being whatever or whoever you want to be at any given moment of every day.


Man, what an amazing week I have had! I have had so much joy! Got myself a new bed set and drapes, hung out with my siblings and for the first time in about 5 years my little brother is starting to talk to me again! Also this week I have been thinking about how happy I am that I am finally the person I have always wanted to be without hiding anything! Deep in side I have always been a very nerdy/weird person but never let it show so I could fit in (and it worked). I was popular and liked by most, but I did not like myself. I wasn't true to myself. This year I found a love for myself and my corky weird outlook on life and interests. I have lost a lot of friends due to creating who I have always wanted to be but gained the kind of friends I've always wanted growing up. They are really weird too, but if your weird and a little odd your 'A' okay in my book! :) Its better to be extremely odd and weird than to be extremely boring and unoriginal. Enough of my rambling! I cant wait to get off work. 3 and half more hours to go... Have a good day!

 My cute bed set

Bed cover is reversable to so the busier 

side is on top!

Music.

I have 10 minutes to blow before I get off work and was listening to music thinking how thankful for it I am. I suffer with horrible Bipolar and music for some odd reason is the only thing that can calm me in a horrible rage or deep depression. I dress myself in music everyday. Music determines what I eat, what clothes I wear, and my attitude and my out look on everything from a day to day basis. I guess that's why most people say I am a very complex person. It's not the music that changes me, its me being me with the help of music encouraging me to express who I am and to not be afraid to be more than one thing. I am brave, I am destructive at times, I am weird, I am hyper, I am emotional, I am a dreamer, I am powerful, I can be weak, I can be cocky, I can be spiteful, I can be humble, I am stuck in-between a war of bad and good 24 hours of my day everyday. I am not a person who is labeled as one thing, I am many. I am many because I am not afraid to be who I am. To me? I am anything I want to be at any point of my day. Who says you cant be? 


Today I am full of love and Joy. Colbie Caillat dressed me today. 

I am thankful for my life and everyone in it especially my 

loving best friend/boyfriend Cody.

Pretty sad.

I think it is pretty sad that I enjoy reading my blog more than most people do. AND laughing, no lie I read it over&over&over again. I am going to read this post tomorrow and laugh. After reading my hilarious humor I then give myself a pat on the back and tell myself what a bad-ass I am. Never gets old. Thought for the day: Blogger is just another way to write to yourself, laugh about it, and actually talk like your talking to someone. Is this site enabling schizophrenia to millions of Americans? I do believe so, and I myself am falling for it. 


This was a short blog for today. The whole blogger/schizophrenia thing was on my mind ALL DAY at work, so what am I going to do? (of course what every 'normal' person would do.) Blog about it. Talk to myself. Cant wait to get off work and go home to my lover and my furry babies! Its a Workaholics marathon kind of day! Til next time..

A Golden Week!

This week has been my kind of week! I have had so much fun! I hit a few rough patches last week but it all paid off this week! I got a GIGANTIC paycheck, hung out with friends I haven't seen in a really long time and got all the bills payed with a ton of cash left over! I treated myself to some brand new anime movies (I know, my family makes fun of me too! But I don't care.. I LOVE IT!). I bought Cody a present that isn't here yet (I wish shipping was quicker.) I am fixing my car Monday AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST- My cellphone strike came to an end. :(  It's sad when your the only person in the world that DESPISES cell phones and has to be forced to turn one back on. Welp, it was nice while it lasted! I love living in the stone age, I could live perfectly happy without a cell phone or transportation! But... I had to face to cold hard truth, the year is 2012- WAKE UP and live in the now! ON AN UP-NOTE cricket let me exchange my Verizon phone in and get a super nice Android and a cute black and white poke-a-dot cover for only $40 bucks! WHAT A STEAL! I guess I can officially say I am moving up in the world! 


To top my week off- Cody & I are going to yet another JAZZ game! So excited! Jazz games are always promising. Whats better than a whole stadium of die hard Jazz fans yelling profanity to all the other teams? My kind of fun! I think I am going to treat him to dinner too! I'm feeling $100 richer after that great deal at Cricket! (I walked out of there feeling like a just robbed the place, most rejuvenating feeling in the world!) I'm such a cheap ass :/ (Its how I was raised you cant blame me!)....... 

Yes mother, I am dumping my problems on you. :)   


Oh, one more thing... I found a dollar on the ground Monday, could that be why my week has been so amazing? (possibly lucky?).

Urban Dictionary.

I am super bored here at work.. And there is nothing particular to blog about so I am going to give the urban dictionary meaning to my name along with my best friends names! I will judge whether its true or not... Hopefully that will cure my boredom.. 

	Natalie
	A very pretty girl who is shy at first but then she will open up. She is very trustworthy and has a great sense of humor. She falls for people fast and doesn't trust easily. She is beautiful inside and out people just don't realize it..... yet. Shes kickass and a great friend to have. Man, Natalie is the total package. I got to get me a Natalie Yep, totally 100% me. Imma keeper. ;) ON TO THE NEXT! Erika Possibly one of the sexiest girls on the face of the earth. They are so much fun to be around, But, a downside is that they are too fine for you. Usually not skanks or hoes have tons of friends and are in middle class families. Has friends that will destroy people that want to harm her. Gets hit on a lot by guys isn't stuck up or a bitch, although they tend to have a bitchy friend or two.  She is pretty sexy lol, but.... All the rest is not true, she does not get hit on by a million guys, she lesbian and they all know that. The only bitchy friend would probably be me?? Urban dictionary.... You suck.   Katy An adjective used to describe a pair of gorgeous legs. Sexy, shapely, lusciously long legs. She does indeed have some mighty fine legs! lol ;) Last but not least!    Cody 1) An attractive guy that chicks digg. 2) A being who has a level manliness about them of which is somewhat subtle yet unparalleled, and which is sometimes mistaken by lesser men as gayness. 3) A higher level of man who endures a multitude of gay jokes, but is in reality much more straight than the lesser men who provoke him. SPOT ON! This is exactly Cody to the 'T'. Bless his heart! He's such a gem! WELP, my boredom is cured! AND I'm off work. Time for a night out with my girls, until then goodbye blogger world see ya tomorrow (best to bet on next week or something like that, I suck at blogging as you can see!) BLAH BLAH BLAH BYE!

My lifes own Melody

If my life had a melody I'm sure it would be a Frank Sinatra tune.
Confused, happy, beautiful.

This week has had its ups and downs. This week has been trying so hard to get the best of me but I didn't let it. Saturday I found out a kid I knew died from an overdose before I went to the Jazz game with Cody. (Probably should not have taken it this way but..) The whole entire ride up I was in the best mood. It took me one glance at Cody and his warm, adorable beaming smile to realize, I am alive when I shouldn't be, and so is Cody. For me it was a day to celebrate a second chance we were both given. (A little late?) Ya, I know! But better late then never right?? Not a lot of people get that second chance in life, but we sure did! Here are some pictures of the Jazz game! (the majority of the pictures are of Kris Humphrey.. Sorry, I had a bit of a celebrity shock moment KNOWING he was married to the one and only Kim Kardashian! I don't know why I love/stalk that girl so much?) ANYWAYS...

 GO JAZZ!!

 Tepinyaki dinner before the game!

 Cody's cheesy kissy face! Ha ha. He's a hoot.

 Khris, if Cody ever dies.. YOU WILL be mine.

 The ride home from the Jazz game. And yes why yes,

Codys eyes are like that all the time! lol

 Just a couple of best buds who happen to

be madly in love. 

 Some, they may go for Cocaine.

I'm sure that if I took one sniff

It would bore me terrifically, too.

Yet I get a kick out of you.

-Frank Sinatra.

   Sound track to my life.

Alzheimer's

Tis true. I am developing a mild case of Alzheimer's.
Well, at least that is what Cody and I have come to believe. 

To explain this, let me explain.

Last week I lost mine and Codys last set of keys. When I say Keys I mean house and Jaguar keys along with golds gym passes and my tanning pass all hooked on one ring. We had another set but I lost those too. I could have sworn I left them at the bank so I called (nope not there). Maybe in my dads truck? (Nope not there either). We were all out of Ideas. We get home and have to call the maintenance man to come unlock our door. Needless to say, we have been leaving our sliding door unlocked having to use that as our front door for the past week and a half. (Yes you can laugh, it is ghetto).

Now here comes the funny part... Today at work near the end of my day I get a crazy hankering for candy. There is ALWAYS sweets at my work! But this week we ran out! I had to dig through every drawer if I was going to find the last of the candy! I open a drawer in the kitchen.... THERE ARE MY KEYS! BAM, it hits me and I have a flashback of why they are there.

On the day my keys went missing Cody happened to call me up and tell me he was going to pick up our house keys and go home... I was off in a half hour, why would you wanna make two trips??? HE INSISTED he was going to come get them anyways. So me being the cunning little brat I am I told him I was going to hide the keys so he wouldn't have to make two trips along with making me wait. WELP, moral to the story is... Cody darling, trying to make two trips is calling for trouble.. I'm going to go ahead and blame this one on you.. I don't want to accept the fact that I am 22 yrs. old and my memory is already taking its tole on me! :)




Dear Alzheimer's, catch me in 20 years and I will gladly welcome you with open arms! :)